11 Secrets for a Happy (and Sexy) Relationship

11 Secrets for a Happy (and Sexy) Relationship

Here are 11 awesome some tips to keep your relationship fresh, vibrant and sexy.

1. Show them some positivity

Make sure to let your partner know how much you appreciate them. Though they already probably know it, it would do a lot for your relationship if you make positive remarks to them regularly, praising how they are or what they did.

It’s always good to be appreciative, and this will cut down on any possible resentment.

2. Don’t be over critical

Try not to over criticize. Most people are fine with criticism in the beginning stages of their relationships, but as time goes by, they begin to get irritated by it.

While honest criticism is important, make sure to restrict it to relevant issues, and don’t nitpick over tiny problems that would best be let pass.

If your partner ends up feeling that they are constantly being judged, then they may lash out or become unhappy, neither of which will help your relationship.

3. Listen well

Remember to always listen to what your partner is trying to say. If ever you get into an argument or a fight, make sure that you are aware of their side, and allow them to explain, before you begin to respond.

Not interrupting and listening wholeheartedly will do wonders for your relationship.

4. Have time for yourself

Remember to set aside time for yourself. Your life shouldn’t revolve around your partner, and you should be able to live a stable life, with your own friends, hobbies, and interests. This allows you to grow as an individual, while giving space to your partner to grow as well.

5. Say sorry

Don’t be afraid to apologise. Even if you honestly believe that it isn’t really all your fault, apologising and making the first move to reconciliation after a fight will make life easier and happier for the both of you.

Life’s too short to hold grudges.

6. Do what you say you’re going to do

Always keep your word. Even for the little things. Even if you feel that you already do a lot for the relationship, if you promise to do something small like take out the rubbish, then make sure to do it.

7. Stay cool, not pushy

Don’t be in constant pursuit of your partner. Not everyone thinks the same way, and if your partner isn’t as comfortable with so much closeness, then over pursuing them may make them feel uncomfortable, or may even drive them away.

Give them enough space, and don’t smother them.

8. Keep conversations open and honest

If ever your partner is rude towards you, tell them that they are being rude, and that you will only talk to them when they’ve calmed down and are treating you with proper respect once again.

9. Maintain an element of mystery

Keep some things to yourself. While knowing a lot about another person leads to comfort, over familiarity may breed contempt.

Do some things to yourself, and have a life outside your partner, and this will lead to greater passion between the two of you.

10. Switch off tech when you’re with each other

Don’t be too absorbed with your phones. Make sure that you can communicate or spend time with each other without your faces glued to your electronic devices.

Simple rules may include no phones during dinner, or no taking calls during conversations (unless they are urgent).

11. Have sex!

Sex is one of the greatest bonding activities between partners, and having an active and healthy sex life is one of the greatest indicators of a happy relationship or marriage.

Indulge your partner and enjoy life with them together. Remember to keep open communication between the two of you, and tell your partner what you like and what you dislike in order to enjoy sex even more.

Check out my best couples sex toy review and 11 ideas for a sexy night in.

Wishing you a long and happy relationship! 🙂

11 Ideas For a Sexy Date Night In

sexy date night in ideas

Here are ten alternative and exciting ideas for a sexy date night in with your partner.

sexy date night in ideas

1. Cook together

The urge for a takeaway may be there, but cooking is great fun when you really get into it. It’s an incredibly sociable activity – with enough wine flowing and some nice music, it can really set the romantic tone too.

To ‘spice’ things up a little, try making something that neither of you have done before, or try your hardest to recreate one of your favourite restaurant dishes.

If you really fancy a challenge, you should both attempt to make something with no real recipe, making it your own special meal from that awesome night in you had together.

Bonus points if you get dressed up in your sexiest clothes and turn it into a really beautiful date night in.

2. Have a movie marathon or TV binge

This doesn’t mean simply sitting in front of 80’s repeats either!

Choose a theme for your evening to have, such as Westerns, rom-coms, musicals and so on – set your movie picking skills to a certain genre to keep the night from going stale. It is a great way to get to know each other’s movie tastes, and even enjoy something that neither of you have seen before.

It’s a great opportunity to get snuggly under a blanket and really get cosy. And if you’re not careful things could get really heated under there…

3. Crack out the silly board games

Like almost all of us, you probably have a dusty box of Snakes ‘n’ Ladders or Trivial Pursuit somewhere in the house. If you don’t, ask a friend!

These are the kind of games that you only think to bring out on cold winter nights or at Christmas, but here is another perfect chance. Get the drinks on the go and a game of Monopoly could turn into fits of laughter, or an attempt at general knowledge quizzes could leave you reeling.

When the company is there, quite literally anything could be a laugh! And laughter is extremely sexy.

4. Create your own home spa

If you need to unwind after a long day or arduous week, you may be craving a chance to go to a spa. Sometimes though, it can be a lot easier and cheaper to bring the spa to you! There are simple ways for you and your partner to enjoy a rejuvenating experience from the comfort of your home.

Fill your bath with relaxing soaps and adorn the bathroom with candles, or lather on some face masks and soak your feet in some warm soapy water. Relaxing music and soft lighting really go a long way!

Alternatively take a steamy hot shower together and let the heat melt away any aches and tension.

sexy date night in bed

5. Take the outdoors indoors

When the winter nights start dragging on, that yearning for a Summer camping holiday tends to get worse.

Although you may not be able to get the tent and head to the hills, you can still have the same effect from home. In your living room construct a tent made from blankets (or just your actual tent if you have room!), put in your comfy bedding and light some little lanterns.

Frying some sausages on the BBQ outdoors and settling down for this sexy date night in can make an average evening memorable, as well as a chance for some real heart to hearts and unexpected pure romance!

6. Bring back the party games

Remember those nostalgic party games you used to play as a kid? Pin the tail on the donkey, hide the spoon, Twister, musical chairs and so on – all of these can be amazing fun for a silly night in.

These games were usually pretty simple for our exhausted parents to put together back in the day, so by giving them a go you’ll realise they’re easy and cheap to execute. It’ll leave you both in fits of giggles. Combine with music, drinks and a take away and you’ve got a night of fun that will leave you ready for more.

7. Draw each other’s portraits

If you fancy yourselves as budding artists – or not – this may be the one to keep you laughing all evening.

All you need is some paper, and whatever your artistic heart desires – pencils, pens, chalk, you name it.

Your partner can choose to dress up or hold a random object, and pose dramatically for you to capture!

Regardless of your drawing talents, you will still have a great date night in – whatever the outcome. As the evening draws to a close (ahem) you will end up with an excellent souvenir to remember it by!

8. Simply chat

If you’re one for keeping it on the down low, and being wildly extravagant seems slightly daunting, it doesn’t matter. You can still have an absolutely great time!

With all of the stresses of daily life, inescapable technology and chaotic commuting, a chance to turn down the lights with this date night in, switch off the television and simply chat may be the best thing to unwind. Escape all the stress and demands of normal life and focus on each other, and what both of you have to say.

You might end up having the most in-depth and interesting conversations you’ve ever had, or learn something about one another that you never knew before.

Open up about what you most long for in life – and who knows, it could bring you closer than ever both emotionally and physically.

9. Give each other massages

The tension of your busy day at work may be evident in your shoulders and muscles, and you’re probably feeling it all by the end of the day.

Instead of simply going to bed and not bothering with anything, turn your tiredness into enjoying your evening with your partner instead.

Gather up some essential oils, light some candles and put on your unwinding playlist and enjoy a romantic massage from each other.

It will not only make you feel physically better and mentally calmer, but it will also bring you closer together as a couple. It’s both sensual and romantic.

10. Get crafty

Fancy trying your hand at something new? Working together on building or creating something is a great way to unite you as a couple.

You may even discover a talent for something you never knew you had! It may be creating something for your home, redecorating stuff you already have or even fixing what may be broken around the house.

crafty date night in

Putting your minds together and working on improving an item is always great fun, even if you’re terrible at it! With enough light hearted laughter and silliness, you could end up making something to help you remember such an incredible date night in.

11. Experimentation date night in

Choose some interesting new sex toys you’ve never tried before. The more unusual to you the better. Decide to explore and experiment with some new pleasurable experiences and see how much you can pleasure each other in new and unknown ways! Eg. The We-Vibe Unite (my review) is an excellent couples toy.

Changing things up is a great way to keep your sex life alive, fresh and is essential.

Whichever sexy date night in you choose, most of all have fun, let go, and enjoy your partners company.

Is Masturbation Good For You? 8 Reasons It Is!

is masturbation good for you

is masturbation good for youIn this post Grace answers is masturbation good for you?

Playing with your sex toys is really good for your health. Really good! And to prove it here are 8 reasons why masturbation, or self love, is excellent for you.

Is masturbation good for you? Here’s why it is.

1. Better Sex

Experimenting on yourself first means you know what you do and don’t like. If you don’t know yourself, your partner may not know either. And communication is a big part of a good sex life.

Play with your toys, let go, have fun and just enjoy yourself with them! The more you masturbate, the more you will enjoy regular orgasms, regular sex, and really understand what most turns you on!

BETTER SEX

2. Find it Easier to Orgasm

This is pretty amazing, but those ladies that don’t regularly orgasm by themselves, often struggle to orgasm during sex with their partner.

The more you orgasm alone, the easier it is when you’re having sex. You’re more in tune with yourself, your orgasm ‘muscles’ are well worked, and you’re more relaxed because you know yourself and your body so well.

ORGASMS

3. Relieve Stress

Orgasms are a big stress reliever. The more you masturbate and play with your sex toys, the happier you will be. It lowers your blood pressure, it releases endorphins and increases relaxation. What’s not to love?

So next time you’re feeling stressed out – grab your bullet vibrator and give yourself a quick orgasm before you continue where you were, feeling much more relaxed about it!

Stress release is one of my faves in this is masturbation good for you list of reasons.

MASTURBATIOXN RELEASES STRESS

4. Help Sleep

Having an orgasm before bed really helps you sleep. Your body releases stress relieving hormones, which put you in a lovely relaxed state all ready for sleep. It’s a great way to switch off the day and move into a state of peace and calm. Try using your bullet right before sleep instead of checking Facebook and notice how much better you sleep.

SLEEPING WOMAN BED

5. Boost Your Immune System

When you masturbate you release a hormone called cortisol. This in small doses really helps your immune system to function well.

Even though cortisol is a stress hormone, it can promote the production of antibodies. These antibodies are your fighter cells who will help to tag and kill off any foreign bugs inside you.

boost your immune system

6. Boost Your Circulation

Masturbating can get you all hot and your heart rate thumping. This is like exercise, except it’s very easy and if you ask me a lot more pleasurable! It helps the blood pump round your arteries and tissues and function well.

It also burns calories! In our is masturbation good for you list, this is possibly one of the best reasons!

boost your circulation

7. Relieve Period Cramps

Many ladies suffer from period cramps and they are a complete annoyance.

The cramps themselves are due to muscle tension, so instead of just taking a pain killer, masturbate, give yourself an orgasm, and the increased blood flowing to the muscles in the pelvic floor helps relieve the pain and tension of period cramps.

Is masturbation good for you? It’s definitely good for relieving annoying period cramps so have your bullet ready around this time of the month for sure.

relieve period cramps

 

8. Help UTIs (Urinary Tract Infections)

Now and then, most women will suffer from at least one UTI. Scientists say that masturbation can actually help to prevent cervical infections because of something called “tenting”.

I know this sounds a bit weird, but its true. Tenting is when the cervix opens naturally as part of you being aroused, or turned on. It stretches the cervix, and at the same time produces more cervical mucous.

And it’s this extra fluid circulation is what allows the cervix to be nicely flushed out naturally. Naturally is the key here. Always remember to have a wee after having sex too, to flush out your urinary tract of any bacteria that may have been introduced during the play.

extra cervix fluid tenting

To Conclude, Is Masturbation Good for You?

In this is masturbation good for you post, it’s clear that yes, it really is! There are so many health benefits from doing it, and it feels amazing!!

So take advantage of this easy mood changer and take 5 minutes out of your day every day to give yourself an orgasm.

Check out my top 10 bullet vibrators and make sure you always have a bullet handy for when the mood strikes!

How to Use a Rabbit Vibrator

You’ve no doubt already heard of the rabbit vibrator, it’s the must classic, iconic sex toy there is. Most rabbit vibrators look very similar with a distinctive look, the long insertable length, and two rabbit ears.

I often get asked reader questions and one of them was how to use a rabbit vibrator? Let’s have a closer look at this toy, what it can do for you and what to do with it.

The Blended Orgasm

Rabbit vibrators have the potential to give a woman what’s known as a blended orgasm, two orgasms at the same time – on their clitoris and internally on their G-spot. Having both your clitoris and G-spot stimulated simultaneously is mind-blowing.

blended orgasm

Seriously, if you haven’t yet used a rabbit vibrator, now is the time to give it a go and you won’t look back.

Before You Use Your Rabbit Vibrator

Before you play with your toy for real, it’s a good idea to get familiar with the controls. There may be an off and off switch, a speed switch and possibly a patterns switch too.

It really depends on the rabbit you bought. Some have more options than others, there may well be instructions for you on how to use a rabbit vibrator too but if you’re anything like me, you’d rather just try it out for yourself first.

Once you know how to turn it on and off and change functions, make sure you’ve also given it a wash too before you use it on yourself.

How To Use a Rabbit Vibrator?

Some may think that a rabbit vibrator is fairly self explanatory. It kind of is but I’m going to talk you through it for those people who are brand new to sex toys.

Firstly you’ve got the insertable length called the shaft and then the rabbit ears.

Unless you’re really wet already, you will need some water-based lubricant adding to both the vibrator and a little on yourself in and around your vagina.

lubrication

When learning how to use a rabbit vibrator for the first time, lie down on your bed, and when you’re relaxed and comfortable, insert the length into yourself (when you and it are nicely lubricated), with the rabbit ears at the top, so that they are resting on or close to your clitoris.

Switch your rabbit on and feel the gorgeous vibrations inside you. Relax and go with where they take you. Experimenting with how to use a rabbit vibrator is pure pleasure and fun.

If you have a separate setting for the ears, switch those on too and feel your clitoris being stimulated too.

Many rabbit vibrators have multi-speed ears so that you can work up from slower to faster vibrations as you get closer to orgasm.

how to use a rabbit vibrator

If this is too much at once, just pick internal or external vibrations to begin with. As you get used to the sensations you will begin to enjoy having both areas stimulated.

Allow the waves of pleasure to grow as you inevitably build into an amazing orgasm. Have a breather for a couple of minutes, and then go again if you feel you want more.

Some people may prefer to use the rabbit ears only first before then inserting the shaft.

There is no right or wrong way for how to use a rabbit vibrator, it’s entirely personal preference and what one person may do, somebody else may do it completely differently. We are all unique.

How to Use a Rabbit Vibrator With Your Partner?

You don’t just have to use your rabbit vibrator alone, you can use it with your partner as well.

It’s really fun and sexy to let them use it on you, and let them control the speeds and what it does to you.

You can incorporate it into foreplay, as well as use the shaft inside you whilst have your partner lick your clitoris from the outside.

You can also use the vibrations from your rabbit on your partner’s body to tease and turn him/her on.

My Rabbit Vibrator Tips

Choose your shaft shape

If it’s your first rabbit vibrator, a slimmer shaft may be the best option for you to get used to having a toy inside you (but I do also advice one with a curved end because they’re so effective).

There are all different shapes of shaft, some are completely straight, whilst some are a bit more wavy, and some have a curved tip. It doesn’t matter which kind you go for, there is no one right or wrong way for how to use a rabbit vibrator.

If you haven’t got one yet, I’d say go for a curved tip to give you that advantage of hitting your G-spot really easily and making sure you get those deep waves of pleasure from the inside.

Battery powered or rechargeable?

bondara-jessica-rabbit
Bondara Jessica Rabbit is £9.99

Regarding battery powered versus rechargeable, there is a fairly big price difference here. Battery powered rabbits are far cheaper, you can get a good one for as low as £9.99 (e.g. the Bondara Jessica Rabbit that comes with free batteries).

But batteries are a hassle because they run out and you have to keep buying more of them. In the past I haven’t used my toys for the simple reason that the batteries have run out, I don’t have left, and I forget to buy them.

So I tend to opt for rechargeable rabbit vibrators whenever possible. Rechargeable ones are more of an investment, but you do find that you use the toy more, you can just plug it in, and have it ready, without having to bother with annoying batteries that you have to keep buying and changing.

But that’s just me! And a lot of people don’t care about batteries.

tracey-cox-super-sex-vibrator
The Tracey Cox Super Sex Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator is £39.99.

Rechargeable rabbit vibrators start at £39.99 (e.g. the Tracey Cox Super Sex Rabbit which is great), so you’re looking at double the price but it’s so much more convenient.

In answer to the original question I was asked: how to use a rabbit vibrator?

Experiment, explore, try, share, play and most of all let go and have fun! Because your life is for living.

How To Use a Bullet Vibrator

How To Use a Bullet Vibrator

How To Use a Bullet Vibrator

One of the questions I get asked often is Grace, how to use a bullet vibrator? In this guide I’m going to tell you all about bullet vibrators and the cool ways you can use yours. If you don’t yet have a bullet vibrator, be sure to check out my top 10 bullet vibrators in the UK for some great ideas.

What is a Bullet Vibrator?

A bullet vibrator is a small, compact, discreet sex toy that is traditionally in the shape of a bullet, hence their name bullet. However there are variations on the traditional bullet now. You get some that are bigger, smaller and those that have extra enhancements on them.

Because bullets are usually so small, they have loads of good points to them. They’re especially good for beginners to buy as a first toy because they’re not intimidating looking toys, and they’re very simple and are easy to use.

The majority of bullets have a single button to control them that controls the power on, power off and the speeds and patterns of vibration. Most are battery operated, however there are an increasing number of rechargeable bullets now arriving on the market.

Rechargeable means you just have to plug the bullet in via USB or mains power and away you go.

reasons to love bullet vibrators

Here’s a few reasons I love bullets:

  • Bullets are great for travelling with because they’re nice and small.
  • They are powerful toys that vibrate on different speeds.
  • Bullet vibrators tend to be lower in price than bigger sex toys.
  • Many bullets are now waterproof and can be used in the bath and shower.
  • They come in all sorts of designs.
  • They’re a great beginner toy because they’re un-intimidating.

How to Use a Bullet Vibrator?

Here’s a few ways to use a bullet vibrator and some ideas you can try.

How To Use a bullet vibrator on your clit?

The clitoris is the most obvious place to use your bullet. The vibrations from your bullet feel amaaazing here, whatever the speed of vibration, just about any kind of buzz is good. Some people prefer a lighter vibration, whilst others like it really powerful.

This is one of the reasons most bullets now come with a range of different speed settings. You can also build up from a lower vibration to a more intense vibration as you get more turned on.

When you buy your toy you usually receive some basic instructions on how to use a bullet vibrator but they really are usually very self explanatory to turn on and off and use their different functions.

Top Tip: Take your waterproof bullet into the bathroom. Run a hot bubble bath, light candles, pour a glass of wine, close your eyes and soak away, whilst using your bullet all around your genital area, before finishing off on your clit for an amazing, relaxed orgasm to really rejuvenate yourself.

bath water bubbles

You can also use your bullet vibe for anal and G-spot stimulation, depending on the size of the bullet. Some of the really small ones may not be big enough, but there are bigger bullets and toys made specifically for these activities.

How to use a bullet vibrator on your body?

Bullet vibrators can be used all over your body, not just on your genital area. Something really nice to try is to get your partner to use your bullet as a way of teasing you. It will get you so turned on, that you’ll be dying for him to use it there.

Our body’s are full of erogenous zones that feel incredible when they’re stimulated. Use your bullet all over your body and experiment with where feels good. They’re great to use during foreplay to get you both in the mood.

Use it on your partner, not just on your self.

Tip: Use it on male partners testicles and genitals to drive him crazy, especially during oral sex.

You don’t have to just use the tip of the bullet vibrator, you can also use it horizontally and allow the entire toy to tickle and stimulate you wherever you want it. It’s really good to prolong the experience, rather than going straight to the orgasm, although there is nothing wrong with that either!

How to use a bullet vibrator for massage?

Have a knot in your back or shoulders? You can use your bullet on these areas and it feels really relaxing and relieves a lot of the tension in them. Because bullets are quite small, it may not be easy to reach all over, here is where your partner comes in to help you.

How to use a bullet vibrator during sex?

You can incorporate a bullet into sex by first discussing it with your partner, that you’d really like to try adding something a little different and showing him or her your bullet. During sex, with smaller bullets it’s possible to squeeze your bullet in between your bodies in a way that gives you both a heck of a lot of extra pleasure! It’s much easier for women to orgasm during sex when they’re also having their clitoris stimulated.

After you’ve discussed it and got the go ahead (and why wouldn’t they agree), or just pull your bullet out when the moment takes you, and start experimenting with where it feels good. Ideally during sex you should have this somewhere that’s vibrating against your clit, and this feels ohhh so good.

Depending on your position you can hold the bullet yourself. There is no right or wrong way for how to use a bullet vibrator and what works for one person, doesn’t always work for somebody else so it’s always about what works for you.

With sex toys there’s never any right or wrong way to do things.

How to use a bullet vibrator with other sex toys?

There are some toys that allow bullets to be added to them to enhance their pleasure such as some butt plugs and cock rings. Many cock rings are sent with mini vibrating bullets inside them already than you can remove.

I definitely recommend adding some lube to your bullet when you’re using it on your genitals area to really enhance your pleasure. Sex toys feel so much better when they’re nice and wet and lubricated right away. Ideally go for water-based lubes because these don’t do any damage to sex toys like oil-based lube can.

I hope you’ve find this how to use a bullet vibrator guide helpful. If you need any help choosing a bullet vibrator for you, be sure to check out my top 10 bullet vibrators, and 7 of the best bullet vibrators posts where I go into more detail about the different types of bullets you can buy, and I talk about my personal favourites!

10 Best Bullet Vibrators

How Often Should You Clean Your Sex Toys?

how often should you clean your sex toys

I was asked:

“How often should you clean your sex toys?”

how often should you clean your sex toys

It’s really really important to clean your sex toys each and every time you use them.

The simple answer to this question is – every time.

If you don’t clean them, they can harbour lots of nasty bacteria which can grow, and give you infections and make you unwell.

It is a chore, but an essential one. As soon as possible after you’ve finished using your toy, wash it in the sink in some warm water with a little bit of mild soap.

You don’t want any gunk drying up on or in the toy. Get in amongst any nooks and crannies to make sure there is nothing left in there that could be left unclean and grow bacteria.

Plus the very thought of using an unwashed sex toy is pretty gross. Respect yourself, respect your toys and keep them clean.

Ideally you want to air dry your toys because many of them, when wet will attract and stick to the slightest bit of dust around! This is so annoying, they’re like dust magnets.

But air drying is not always possible when you need to hide it away like when you share a house with other people and don’t want your vibrator left out in the bathroom and giving someone a big shock!

A clean towel or some kitchen roll can be used instead of air drying, and store it away somewhere clean and dry for the next time you use it. Many sex toys (especially the higher end ones) come with storage bags now to keep them in which are really handy and discreet.

So remember, how often should you clean your sex toys? Wash your toys after every single use! It will take you no more than two minutes in total to rinse, wash, and dry, and it’s well worth the time.

How Often Can You Use a Sex Toy?

How often can you use a sex toy- (2)

In this ask Grace post, I was asked:

“How often can you use a sex toy?”

The answer is, as long as you are enjoying the experience, as often as you like!

Sex toys are extremely safe and have to pass strict and stringent safety regulations before you can buy them here in the UK.

If you want to use your sex toy every day, do it. Multiple times a day? Go for it!

Why? Women who regularly use sex toys increase their clitoral sensations and improve their quality of orgasms. It’s healthy and it improves your overall quality of life too. You know who you are, you’re a sensual woman when you use sex toys regularly!

They are also a great way of exploring what you enjoy, and learning more about what feels good, with or without a partner. With this knowledge, you can let your partner know ‘this is what I like’, ‘this is what I want you to do.’

How often can you use a sex toy- (2)

And trust me, there is nothing more sexy than a woman who knows what she likes and what she wants! Your partner will love it. Experimenting with your sex toys definitely helps you become this person.

It is possible to occasionally experience some mild discomfort from a long vibrating session, and you can over do it causing some temporary clitoral numbness, but the trick is to notice when you are feeling this way and to have a break. This is only ever temporary, and your body will tell you when it’s becoming too much, so mixing it up with some non-vibrational stimulation is a good way of not overdoing the vibrations.

I’m talking about vibrating for one long period of time, not regular shorter intervals.

So to summarise, how often can you use a sex toy? They relieve stress, they teach you about your body, they add new ways of enjoying time with your partner, and they are a very healthy part of a happy sex life.

Use your sex toy as often as you like as long as it feels good!

How Discreet is Ordering a Sex Toy Online?

how discreet is ordering a sex toy online (1)

When you order a sex toy online, does anyone else know that’s what you’ve ordered?

I get asked this question a lot.

What shows up on your bank statement?

And how does the parcel look when its delivered?

Will your old neighbour Ted know that the parcel he’s just signed for when you weren’t in is your new dildo?

Your bank statements

The vast majority of online sex shops will not show on your bank statement who you have actually ordered from, as they use a trading name.

For example Lovehoney says LH Trading. That could be anyone.

It’s not immediately obvious.

Your parcel

parcel-bondara
This got delivered next door. No clues about what’s inside.

Your parcel arrives plain and there is no way of telling what’s inside it. It does not have “sex toy!” written anywhere on it.

There is usually a returns address which again, is not the address of where you ordered from. Like the above example, it may say return to “LH Trading” but that’s about it. It could be from anyone.

I have ordered parcels many times from online toy shops that have gone next door, it’s not ideal! But I don’t mind really because there is no way of telling from the box what is inside.

Relax

So, when you are ordering your sex toys, you can relax knowing that your parcel is discreet, and your bank accounts won’t be lit up with the names of online toy shops when you have to send a statement off somewhere.

It is discreet. And it is easy to order and have that toy you’ve got your eye on in your possession without any concerns about who else knows!

Can you use a vibrator when pregnant?

pregnancy orgasms

I get asked this question a lot. I can see why some women might be worried and ask can you use a vibrator when pregnant, because you have got a real live baby inside of you, and you don’t want to do your baby any damage.

You can be safe in the knowledge that your baby is well protected whilst you are pregnant by a thick and protective mucus plug. This plug seals off your cervix from the outside world.

pregnant baby bump

Hygiene is everything

In the majority of circumstances it is completely safe to use a sex toy whilst pregnant with no issues so long as your toys are clean. Wash them after each use, as well as before you use any new ones.

The way to wash a sex toy is:

  • With clean, soapy water
  • Ensure you rinse the soap off and dry them properly
  • Store them somewhere clean and dry

Better orgasms whilst pregnant

What’s really great whilst pregnant for a lot of women, is that because of all the extra blood that’s circulating in your ‘lower regions’ to support the baby, this actually makes pleasure, sex and orgasms more intense and satisfying.

In the later stages of pregnancy, when the nausea has passed, and you may be less tired (everyone is different), you may well find yourself extra horny and turned on, compared to when you weren’t pregnant. This is normal.

I advise you to take full advantage of this increased blood flow. Being pregnant can be exhausting and hard work for many women, so you should definitely add as much pleasure to the mix as possible. If the extra blood flow gives you more pleasure, use it.

Some ladies go off full on sex, and they prefer foreplay. This is where sex toys can really come into use. You might enjoy using them alone each time, or get your partner to join in and use them on you too. It can help keep your relationship close during pregnancy.

pregnancy orgasms

Times when caution is needed

The times when you shouldn’t use a sex toy to full depth inside you are:

  • Your doctor has advised you not to have sex, for example if you have been found to have a low lying placenta during a scan, or in a previous pregnancy you had a weak cervix
  • Or that you could go into labour too early. This is rare but if you have been told this, the reason not to use sex toys is that orgasms can stimulate contractions.
  • If you have an infection
  • Or if your waters have already broken

Also if you have experienced any bleeding during your pregnancy, do speak to your doctor or midwife before you use sex toys.

These circumstances are rare, and in the vast majority of cases it is completely fine to use sex toys whilst pregnant, and I encourage you to give yourself as much pleasure and orgasms as you can.

Always remember to have a wee after sex or using a sex toy. The reason for this is that it helps clear your urinary tract. You should do this whether pregnant or not, but when you’re pregnant you are more prone to urinary tract infections (UTIs) which is why hygiene is especially important.

A few women do bleed after sex during pregnancy and it is regarded as common and due to increased blood flow, and sometimes the tiny blood vessels in the vagina can be broken. This can cause some light spotting. If you do bleed after sex, especially whilst pregnant, it is worth being checked out by your doctor.

pregnancy blooming

Summary: Can you use a vibrator when pregnant?

If you don’t have any medical complications and the mood takes you, go for it. Use your vibrator and give yourself as many orgasms as you need. Orgasms fill your body with tons of endorphins and I reckon that these happy chemicals will inevitably get passed onto your baby via your joint blood streams.

What puts you in a good mood, is also likely to help create a happier baby too!

Check out the great range of vibrators available at my favourite shop, Lovehoney.